The New Word to Describe the Life of a Writer

conundrumnal: The state of being in a persistent paradox; A situation presenting a consistent conundrum

American Politicians  spend too much time raising money. They don’t have time to make good policy, or to care how it affects us.

If I want to spend more time writing, I am going to have to figure out how to sell my book, but if I spend my time selling it, I won’t have time to write. One of the things I like to do is make up new words. There are a few in my book. Today I want to introduce you to the word conundrumnal, because this problem of having to spend time selling books and not being able to write them is conundrumnal. I’m not saying this is original thought, but I don’t see that word in use. Certainly not in dictionaries.

war and vegetables a chronicle of the last gas station book cover

click that

My book is now in the Premium Catalogue at Smashwords, which means I can officially stop calling myself a Writer and start calling myself an Author if I feel like it. It might be a little pretentious,  but probably not presumptuous. It would be pretentious to call myself an author if I started referring to myself as such before at least selling a thousand books. You get the point though. I wrote a book, seventy two thousand plus words.

Below is a list of ways people all over the world can get my book if they find clicking the link above to be too easy. I am intrigued by this. What a great system Smashwords made. Technically, pretty much everyone on Earth can get my book now. What if they did? Then I could spend more time writing.

Kobo powers the ebook stores of multiple ebook retailers around the world.  Simply by distributing to Kobo via Smashwords, your books may also reach WH Smith in the UK, FNAC in France and Portugal, Livraria Cultura in Brazil, Angus & Robertson Bookworld in Australia, Bookworld in Australia, Indigo in Canada, Collins in Australia, Feltrinelli in Italy, bol.com in the Netherlands, Paper Plus in New Zealand, Play in Great Britain, Rakuten in Japan, Buy.com (now Rakuten) in the US, PriceMinister in France, Crossword and WHSmith in India, Eason & Son, Ltd in Ireland, Mondadori in Italy, The Paper Plus Group in New Zealand, National Book Store in the Philippines, Pick ‘N Pay in South Africa, La Central in Spain, Dogan in Turkey, participating Booksellers Association Stores in the UK, and participating American Booksellers Association stores in the US, and Orbile in Mexico (Orbile is a partnership between two large Mexican book retailers, Porrúa and Gandhi).

Inktera operates retail site Inktera.com and powers multiple apps across iOS and Google Play including Athanatos, Book Bronco, Caffeine Nights, Cricket Books, Digital Pretium, Digital Turbine eBooks, EverAfter, IndieReader, Inktera Books, MediaRewards, Morgan Rice, Oasis eBooks, OneClique, TribBooks, Versent Books, and EverAfter (app for romance); and operates Android ebook store apps for Cricket Wireless and Asus.

Baker & Taylor operates Blio, an ebook store and also operates Axis360, a major supplier of ebook checkout systems to public libraries.

Gardners, also mentioned above, powers hundreds of small white label ebook stores; operates Hive.co.uk which powers ecommerce operations for hundreds of physical stores; operates Askews & Holts, a large supplier of ebooks to public libraries in the UK and other countries; and operates VLeBooks which powers ebook checkout systems for academic libraries.

I was offered the opportunity to get a free Micro Touch Razor if I wrote a review, and here is my honest review for the Micro Touch

I tried this razor, you might have seen it on TV, it is called the “Micro Touch Razor“. I thought it was interesting, I was allowed to have one as a promotion in exchange for writing an honest review, and this is my honest review. As in, what I really think.

What I know now, that I did not know before I used the Micro Touch is multi-blade razors are a SCAM. Just think about all that plastic in the landfills from disposable razors. That kind of thing really bothers me. It’s just something they do to get you to buy more things and it is awful because it fills up the landfills. I probably have a pickup-truck full of plastic razors just from myself in the landfills and I am just one guy. So think about one pick up truck for 10 million different guys, just from my generation. That’s ten million pick-up trucks full of scammy plastic razors all in the landfills for no good reason. How terrifying.

So let’s talk about the shave. I remember that my dad had something like this. It worked the exact same way. You turn the bottom and the blade carriage opens and there is a blade in there. I used to play with it because it was fun and mechanical and interesting, because little kids like that stuff. This one is actually nicer than my dad’s because he is really cheap, but don’t tell him I said that. The other thing that is noticeably different than my dad’s is the blades. These blades are so much thinner than may dad’s blades were. Then I opened the package with all the blades they give you, I think I have enough blades for at least a year, and I have to shave a lot because I am really manly, they gave me 24 blades. I noticed how thin the packages with each blade are. I  am going to be really straight with you here, Micro-Touch blade that is wrapped inside the outer paper envelope is thinner than the paper. I could not believe it. I think that is a part of the success of this product.

It’s the thinness of the blade. That’s how you get a close shave, not with a lot of blades, but with one, super sharp, super THIN blade. That’s the deal with the Micro Touch. So now when I am shaving, you know how it goes right? I’m standing up there in the bathroom, looking in the mirror, and I have this kick-ass, macho 50’s looking razor, like when men were men, and this gorgeous woman comes up and puts her arms around my shoulders and then takes her hand and strokes my face and squeezes her cheek against mine. There is this little bit of shaving cream that gets on her face and I don’t tell her about it because it’s funny and cute, and then.. well, you know what happens.

I am not some kind of hawker, I had a chance to test this thing out if I promised to write a review, and this is “what is”, it’s my honest thoughts about this razor. I won’t be using a different razor than this one. If I lose it, I will buy another one, and if I am getting on a plane where they won’t let you take razors and metal things because of the paranoia conditioning, then I will get one of the new waxed cardboard disposable razors for my trip and have them sent to where I am going, and I will wish I have my Micro Touch with me.

Micro Touch website product shotI’m not even getting paid to link to their website, that’s how good t is.

Politics and other crimes

If you hate politics, you’ll love Hank